Lead and Follow: Part 3 – I Lead, You Follow, but who's in Charge

Ballroom dancing is a combination of one leader and one follower working together as one.    Oops….did i just give away the ending?   Maybe a little but I really have a different point to make.

Yes, the leader makes the decisions on the patterns and steps to be taken and the direction of the dance, but is he really in charge.   Leading is by invitation (or at least it should be).   The leader can’t force the follower to do anything so is he really in charge?   As the follower, you have all the control.  If you choose not to follow, there is not much the leader can do about it.

I have heard some teachers say that in dancing, you have to “let the man be in charge”.   I find this statement extremely amusing.  Why?  The very statement contradicts itself.

If you “allow” or “let” the man be in charge, you have chosen to do so and ultimately have the control.

Author Andre Maurois is quoted as follows:  The most important quality in a leader is that of being acknowledged as such.

This is especially true in dance.  If the follower does not acknowledge the leadership of the leader, then…well…..it’s not going to be much fun for either.

So when it comes down to it.  Men, you can’t push a rope and you can’t make your partner to do what you want by force.  Lead gently and with authority and you will be acknowledged as such.