As men, we often ask ourselves what do women want and it seems to be a mystery to many. ….
Is it possible that what women want in life is the same thing they look for in dance? I hear over and over again from dance instructors the following statement in one form or another. “Guys, this is the one place you are in charge”. Is this really true? I wonder.
We live in a society today that has taken something critical from men. Our Masculinity and Authority. Gone are the days of strong men.
What is Authority? There are several definitions ranging from power to make decisions and command other to knowledge expert or an authorty on a given subject. I posted a short artiicle on DanceUniverse about authority and how I believe it applies to dance.
Ballroom, Latin, Swing – Men and Authority
Authority can be a sensitive subject in some circles, but it is the cornerstone of a good dancer. Authority can be defined as: The power derived from opinion, respect, or esteem; influence of character, or trust.
Part 1 gave us nine traits of a real man, to strive for in our lives. I believe these same traits can be applied to the dance floor.
Confidence
1. Confidence: Dance with your partner like you have nothing to prove. Take each step with the confidence that you know what you are doing. If you don’t, then practice.
2. Courage: Go ahead, Ask her to dance. Take action. She wants you to ask her.
3. Responsibility: She said yes and now it’s time to dance. From the moment you take her hand, you accept certain responsibilities. You have two main responsibilities: 1. her safety and 2. her entertainment. Keep her safe. Keep her out of the path of other dancers. Keep her entertained. Engage The Conversation, not in words, but in movements. You don’t have to perform amazing moves and patterns. Just dance with her and her alone and to the best of your ability.
4. Discipline: You will excel at nothing without discipline. Dance is no exception. Dance requires discipline to maintain your health and discipline to maintain your skills. What is not practiced will be lost.
Honesty, Integrity and Kindness
5. Honesty, Integrity, and Kindness: Be honest with yourself. Know your own skill level. I’ve seen many men who thought they were great dancers who were not. I’ve also seen some who were but thought they were not. Ask your partners for an honest opinion and be man enough to take it to heart.
6. Treat Women Like Women: Women deserve a place of high honor in our lives. Be a gentleman, courteous and kind. Ask politely to dance and thank them afterwards because they have chosen to spend that moment with you.
7. Listen: Not just with your ears, but with your body. Is she following what you are leading? If not, don’t blame her. Either you aren’t leading effectively or you are doing things she doesn’t understand. Never dance beyond your partner’s level.
Defend the Weak
8. Defend the Weak: Don’t get involved in negative, back biting conversations about other dancers.
9. Inspire Submission: Submission today is such a terrible word to use because we have been indoctrinated into a belief that a woman should never submit to a man. That somehow, by submitting, the woman loses control. Submission is the ultimate act of control. In life and dance, sumission is the ultimate expression of trust. The person submitting is actually the one in charge. Yes, you heard right. Submission is a decision that must be made with each direction. On the dance floor, the woman chooses to accept the Man’s Invitation with each step and this puts her in complete control. Men, you cannot force submission. Rather, it must be earned. I’ll say it again. It Must Be Earned. It must be freely and willfully given or you are just a bully and will sit alone while others dance. Inspiring submission demands selflessness on your part. Inspire her to accept your invitation by inspiring her trust. How do you do that? Did you read 1 – 8 above?
Do you agree, disagree? Especially ladies, what is your opinion? What do you want from men on the dance floor?
Gregory Peck
A few years ago, I did a video project called “When did I know I was a Man”. I conducted man on the street interviews with thirty men ranging in age from 18 to 35 and asked a simple question ; When did you know you were a Man?. I was amazed by some of the answers we received. Some said when they turned 18, others when they had sex, others when they had a family. One even said when he was old enough to drink.
The answer was always some age or milestone in life but never did anyone talk about if or when they had mastered traits that should be the real definition of manhood.
by Bobbi Wingham (a woman, ex feminist)
Women need to encourage men to be masculine – who they really are and not who women think they should be. This means women should back off. But, for the guys out there who haven’t got a clue who they are and what real women want and need, here goes: Read Bobbi’s complete article here
In Part 2, I will go into each trait’s influence on the dance floor.
Do women today really want masculine men in their lives and as dance partners?
I Lika Do Da Cha Cha Like A Sissy Girl
Should a Man Dance or Not?
When I first started taking ballroom lessons a number of my male friends reacted negatively. They thought is was funny or not manly enough. I was told “Men don’t dance”. Are you kidding me? Men don’t dance? How did we get to a point where it was considered unmanly to dance? Men, you are MISSING IT!!! Married or single, the women in your life want to dance with YOU!!! How can you not want to dance. You get to dress nice, meet and hold beautiful women in your arms (and they are all beautiful) and it’s great exercise. Did I mention beautiful women?
Men don’t dance? The facts say something different:
Guys, Don’t be afraid. Break the mold. Contemporary culture has feminized dance and we need to take back the masculine role. Real Men Dance.
From Tango Dance Studio….
Well, are you talking ballroom (american, international), or argentine? I’m guessing Argentine, since it’s the most difficult of the three, from a beginning leader’s perspective.
I think you’ve answered your own question. Read the full post here….
My favorite line from this post:
A great ballroom tango makes you want to take the man home, but great argentine tango makes you want to take the man right there.
Ladies….Is it true?
