Do you remember the first time you attended a dance at your local dance club?  Do you remember what you were feeling?  Maybe you were intimidated or nervous.  Maybe you thought everybody would be watching you or they might even laugh.  Then you got there and found that you were welcomed with smiles and warmth…… or maybe not. 

When new people come to our local dance, it’s vital that we are encouraging and make them feel comfortable.  It only takes one off hand comment or negative reaction to ensure that person will never return.  I speak from experience.

I’m not happy to admit that I let this affect me as much as it did, but I did allow one person’s reaction keep me from enjoying what should have been years of fun.

I had just started taking lessons and attended a local club party.  During the dance they announced a chair dance and I decided to give it a try.  If you don’t know,  a chair dance is a mixer allowing you an opportunity to dance with, and meet,  different people. 

The dance was a foxtrot.  My turn arrived and I was paired with a lady I had never met.  I introduced myself and said I was new at this.  Her response was to frown, roll her eyes  and ask “how new” in an exasperated and very intolerant tone.  She was clearly put out that she had to endure a trip around the room with someone who didn’t know what they were doing. 

My response was no better.  I said that I was too new for that and I left her standing there.  Shortly thereafter, I left for the night and did not return for many years.  From that day on, my impression of that organization was defined by one word.. Arrogant.    I blame myself for my response because so many others had been kind, friendly and great fun.

Years later, I did finally return.  I did dance the chair dance and had a great time.  I found the people were warm and friendly and encouraging to new people and just happy that I was there.   Then I saw……HER.  

That night, I danced with her, talked to her and found that she was a sweet and kind person who just loved to dance.  The funny thing is she didn’t remember me at all, but I could have picked her out of a crowd of a thousand.    I have never mentioned that first night to her so she is completely unaware of what happened.

As negative as the above story may sound, I hope  my experience will have a positive influence.  

First to those who have been dancing for years:  Remember what it was like your first day and be positive and encouraging to new people.  One thoughtless comment can have great influence and first impressions can be hard to overcome if that impression is bad. 

Second to the new dancers:   You are important to us.  We love new people and want you to come back.  Without you, our clubs will wither away.  If, by chance, you encounter someone who does treat you poorly or with little patience,  ignore them.  They are few and far between and may just have had a bad day. 

Don’t do what I did and allow one person’s 5 second reaction keep you from enjoying what your local clubs have to offer.